So here I go again, I still have all those memories sharp enough to write a blog.
I was just promoted to 6th standard and a bunch of new students too joined are class. The first day, as usual I was sitting with my friends and chatting about all kind of stuffs before the first period. After few moments of "halla and gullaa" it was time for the class teacher to enter, we sat properly on our benches.
Then that moment came, she entered the class (not the class teacher haha). A new student, super cute, with little curly hairs, struggling to find that comfort zone (we all have that feeling, you guys know what I am talking about), a new place and everyone staring at you.
Yes, I too was staring at her(haha). I was just completely staring at her. It was a love at first sight for me, I was flat at her, I totally was.
I knew I was too young to fall in love but who cares, yes I was in love from that very moment. What's her name? I was too curious to know. The class teacher entered, now what I was waiting for? yes you guessed it right, the attendance. I was waiting for her to attend her roll call and there it was, the class teacher called her name and she cutely, still very shy replied "present mam".
Oh god! she is damm cute, she is so beautiful, I want to talk to her, my heart ordered my brain. "Go you stupid, go talk to her". And yes I did, I interacted with her. (yeah!! smiles all over my face)
Fast forward and the story jumps to 10th class. From being strangers to being very good friends by now.
"Oh!! what is happening in the school. What sort of rules are they coming up with", I said. The below average students should be in one section and others in that 'A' section (huhh!! those school days).
And I was sent to the '10th C' section and she headed to 'A'. God that feeling, will I be able to talk to her again? will we meet frequently? what about our friendship? should I tell her I am in love with her? and what not in the world I was thinking.
The annual day celebrations, my group by now had this idea that I was in love with her. One of my friend took both of us to corner and he told everything to her. "What is happening? I should have told this to her and not my friend" (but somewhere or the other I was thankful to him that he made her aware of all my feelings, I guess I was too shy). She asked for some time.
After a day, we met, on the stairs."We will remain friends, very good friends", she said. "No way yar!!" (my inner voice). "Hmm ok" what I actually said to her with a big smile on my face. I know I should have said something more but I didn't.
Years passed and in these years a strong bond build between two of us. We have a common friend, who was the main what you say, main link between both of us. She helped a lot in all those years to bring us close and she still does.
12th standard, I started sensing something from her end too. Yes! she too was in love with me (big smile :D ). Just before the pre board exams, on 31st Dec 2009, we talked over phone and then over messages. Yes!! we were officially (hahaha yes officially) in a relationship.
Everything was super cool between us, so much fun, so much leg pulling, movies, surprises, gifts, roses and yes lot of LOVE.
Then one day, it was sometime around Dec 2012, she stopped talking to me. I still remember I was in my college, waiting for her call (the time we usually talk over phone), I called her but nothing, phone cut. What the hell is happening, I was desperate to know. I messaged her, no reply. The full day passed like this. Our common friend, I called her up to know whats the matter. She too was unaware of the whole thing.
I tried, I tried, I desperately tried to contact her. Then one day, my phone beeped, it was her message, "she didn't want to continue the relationship". Reason? no idea. What happened, I was desperate to know.
Weeks passed and I was still in shock, I was truly very disappointed with her. I was very angry but this love, god!! not letting me show it to her. We have had few chats over messages not about that relationship stuffs, other normal things.
"Sachin", my heart prompted, "at least ask her the reason", "no" my brain said, "you should not, it's her decision and may be she have some genuine reasons, it won't look good".
I still don't know was it a bad decision, to let her go without trying hard. Yes I tried for few months but at the same time I respected her decision. I tried to have her back in my life but I saw nothing positive from her end. It hurt, it deeply hurt me. "There is nothing like love in this world, you stupid" my brain again. Sleepless nights, from a happy go lucky boy to more serious now, I completely changed.
Present time : This love, this feeling, the respect, the eagerness to ask our common friend how she is? is she doing good? sending her the birthday wish, sharing everything important going on in my life with her (though it's not every time I get a reply from her). Don't know why but I still really like this, I still love her and have that strong feeling that she will come back one day. One thing that give me that, you know, a little hope, a little idea, that she still have something for me is receiving wonderful birthday wishes from her in all these years. I wait for my birthday just for this reason, yes, I wait for her text, nothing else.
If you're reading this blog, I just want to say I really love you, I really want you back. You are my happiness, you are everything for me. The best that can happen in my life is YOU. Your this year birthday wish said, "I pray best for you". Stupid you are the one who is "best" for me. Why don't you get this.
PS : I am sorry I shared this over here, now please don't scold me haa :p
For the readers out there, this story is still incomplete and I hope it has all smiles and hurray sort of end.
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